God is not a task on my todo list. there is no place. He is part of my identity. every day i thank God for my gifts, talents, luck, fortune, health. and i remind Him i don't deserve any of it.

growing up i was a worship leader for several years. i was in a lot of youth groups. i went on a lot of retreats. and i met a lot of FAKE Christians. now i'm trying to connect with people who are real.

take one time in Manhattan, after church. service ended around noon so me and a few twentysomethings decided to eat at Calle Ocho, a Mexican brunch spot in the upper west side known for their bottomless weekend sangria. they have, let's say 8 fantastic flavors.

so we arrive, order food, and are asked the inevitable... which flavor do you want? and one by one, around the table, my church peers say "no thank you." when it's my turn: raspberry please.

here's the thing. ALL of those people drink. none of them are against alcohol. but everyone was virtue signaling that they were somehow a better Christian for not drinking in the presence of church people. 

i do not operate this way. God is not a badge or gold star or pinback button i wear that says "I VOTED (for Christ)." God is our creator, and He is worthy of our praise and worship and fear and obedience.

mostly i screw up, and then there's mercy. sometimes i take His name in vain, and then there's grace. but every day i say thank you, and let Him back into my heart.